What Causes my Addiction?

I’m getting sober again after years of battling my own struggles with addiction. Not having drugs in your system or not having that craving you desire may be how some people define their addiction. Though this is not how I define my sobriety. With the help of my blog I will become who want to be.

I’m at a time in my life where I am ready to win the war by sharing my journey of Never Tapping Out through my blog posts. I’m never going to stop fighting my addictions when they are demanding war. I am the warrior that has been created as a result of my struggle. I felt that I would be the only one that could handle this pain that I endure. I mean why would I think anyone but me should be fighting this war.

My addiction is like a girl friend I cannot shake who also thinks I am her kids father. It sounds erroneous but it is so true when you think about it. I will show you right now, just try to follow what I am saying as I personify of my addiction.

For one my addiction texts my cellphone everyday wonder what I am going to do today. Then as my day continues toward the afternoon my addiction begins to scan the streets in the neighborhood looking where I might be. Next it finds out where I was planning to be so that later it can already be where I am at waiting. As if it were mere coincidence like it was planing to go where was going before I did.

Finally I will get to a point where my addiction has my back to a corner with noway out. So now I am left back where I started, alone with my addiction as it tries to reason with my better judgement. Over the time I sit there waiting for someone that knows me to walk by and save me. My addiction and I are now looking into each other’s eyes as it tells me all of the things that I want to hear. With nothing else holding me back I reach out for my addiction and grasp it strongly.

That was all it took for me to get hooked. Yet, just as I thought all was lost I stood up strong and said “I make my choices and you are not one of them.” I knew needed help. So I swallowed my pride and now here we are together. More stronger than ever with the support of one another to continue battling along side of one another. Knowing that we will be surviving another day with our sobriety intact.

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