Being the addict is so strange; food, friends, family, living, breathing all seem better depending whether I am high or not. I was not always thinking about stuffing every corner of my body with drugs. Once upon a time I used to get high on life and live it to the max. Rather then worrying about my next high I was worried about when I would get to go out and play again. I was taught to always try my best and do what is right my whole life. At least that’s what I like telling myself everyday to be satisfied the craving of my addictions. Despite the fact that I am now a sober man today, I’ll never escape my reality that I am still an addict. My memories haunt me that’s what makes me the addict, but you will see my recover from this again. I just know how much I would love to relapse and give into my addictions. There is something inside me that is tell me to relapse already so that me and my dark memories can party again. Relapsing is a cowardliness action for me to take when I have the strength to push forward. This is what I try to say to myself to feel better everyday. Yet I do not get why I should feel better when all I see is a monster. I created my own suffering so I deserve to endure this pain alone, but that is not what I want to do. I want someone to come with me so that I am not lonely with my dark thoughts. These dark thoughts like to run rampant in my mind as if they are allowed to tempt me to them control my mind. I need those dark thoughts that are telling me to relapse to vacate my mind. Please let me live freely with out fear of my addiction. Not having drugs in your system or not having that craving you desire may be how some people define their addiction. Though this is not how I can live my sobriety. I’ll be sober again when I tell the truths that I have kept locked away deep in my mind. These addictive memories start to come forward and then they take over my thoughts. My thoughts start to haunt me as my mind becomes my own worst enemy. This blog will be the story of why I’m Never Tapping Out.
My name is Rick Turner, I am the contributor for the I'm Getting Sober Again Blog. I love being active, when I ever can afford time for myself, and living a sober life. View all posts by Rick Turner