Why I’m Never Tapping Out

I’m getting sober again with no intent of ever going back to the lonely past that I once lived. I’m never tapping out to my memories that are constantly tempting me to fold into my addictions. These memories are the epitome of my pain and struggle. As I wonder how to stop these memories from converting me back to my old ways, my “addictive past.”

I remember this as long as the thoughts continues to cross my mind everyday as struggle through this journey. The problem I have is that I am constantly thinking about my addictive past. All this does is return my old memories back to the foreground of my brain, sitting there taunting me as if I have no control. How dare my addicts claim dominance over me! I created them, therefore I have hold the power to destroy them.

I’m never going to stop fighting my addictions when they are demanding war. I am the warrior that has been created as a result of my struggle. I felt that I would be the only one that could handle this pain that I endure. Yet just as I thought all was lost, I stood up strong and said I make my choices but I need help.

So swallowed my pride and now here we are together and stronger than ever with the support of one another to continue battling together. We stand together to fight and then continue to fight some more until we conquer our foe that we call addiction.

As being able to say you’re stronger that your addiction is the reward of believing in your own strength. ~Anonymous

While I read that quote my memories began to haunt me as if those thoughts were attempting to turn my focus on my addictive past once again. Yet I would not be letting this happen again so easily, as “I am Never Tapping Out.”