I’m getting sober again after years of battling my own struggles with addiction. Now I’m at a time in my life where I am ready to win the war by sharing my journey of Never Tapping Out through my blog posts. We will help each other get stronger with each post I create. As with each step we create new memories to overwrite the bad ones just like a defragmented hard drive. I know it sounds weird but that is really how memory works. We have these crazy terrible thoughts that remain in the foreground of our mind as if these memories were our current thought process.
I realize that I do not need to do what once haunted my life but it does sound really attractive to me. I started off smoking marijuana or that fire as I used to call it, it was awesome just the natural flower instead of all the fake crap that I used most of time. Marijuana is the mother of all addictions, there is a reasons it is called the gateway drug. It is not because all I used to do is burn at the end of my driveway by the gate but rather because it is usually every addicts first drug of choice.
I know is was not only my first choice but also my recurring choice. As no matter how mess up I was on some new drug my good old friend “Mary Jane” was still there to help balance me out when I thought I may have taken it too far. I thought drugs were my strength as if they made me indestructible to the world or something. I look back now that all I see is weakness, pure weakness with no intent on recovering for my addictions.
That is why I must remain stronger than ever as my journey progresses down this long painful road to recovery. I am going to reach for the skies and reach my goal of sobriety even if it kills me. Wait what did I just say? “I am going to reach for the skies and reach my goal of sobriety even if it kills me.” Well that seems counter productive when I am over here trying to figure out a way to live life as full as possible. I digress but come one I am pouring out my soul here. I need to laugh once in a while too, I think laughing might become my new favorite drug.