I am humbled by my addictions; I am accustomed to her voice, to her scent, and to her lingering touch. I meet her back when I was thirteen just outside of my middle school. She was a friend of my buddies and they decided to introduce us. She noticed my leg shake as she approached me and before I could speak we were looking into one another’s eyes. We locked eyes for about five minutes before she finally spoke to me.
She told me her name was Mary and I responded with “you’re beautiful, how about you call me tonight.”
Being the addict is so strange; food, friends, family, living, breathing all seem better depending whether I am high or not. I was not always thinking about stuffing every corner of my body with drugs. Once upon a time I used to get high on life and live it to the max. Rather then worrying about my next high I was worried about when I would get to go out and play again. I was taught to always try my best and do what is right my whole life. At least that’s what I like telling myself everyday to be satisfied the craving of my addictions. Despite the fact that I am now a sober man today, I’ll never escape my reality that I am still an addict. Read More About “Being the Addict” »
I’m getting sober again after years of battling my own struggles with addiction. Now I’m at a time in my life where I am ready to win the war by sharing my journey of Never Tapping Out through my blog posts. We will help each other get stronger with each post I create. As with each step we create new memories to overwrite the bad ones just like a defragmented hard drive. I know it sounds weird but that is really how memory works. We have these crazy terrible thoughts that remain in the foreground of our mind as if these memories were our current thought process.
I realize that I do not need to do what once haunted my life but it does sound really attractive to me. I started off smoking marijuana or that fire as I used to call it, it was awesome just the natural flower instead of all the fake crap that I used most of time. Marijuana is the mother of all addictions, there is a reasons it is called the gateway drug. It is not because all I used to do is burn at the end of my driveway by the gate but rather because it is usually every addicts first drug of choice.
I’m getting sober again after years of battling my own struggles with addiction. Now I’m at a time in my life where I am ready to win the war by sharing my journey of Never Tapping Out through my blog posts.I have always done my best to do what is right my whole life. At least that’s what I like telling myself everyday to be satisfied the craving of my addictions.
Despite this fact that I am now a sober man today, I’ll never escape my reality that I am still an addict. Just because I do not have drugs in my system does not mean that I am better off. After all I am an addict whom of which loves to do drugs. I would like to be sober but why would I want to do that when I can have so much more fun while I’m high.